


The Way You Hurt Me

by fadedlullabyes



Series: Accepting the Bond [1]
Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: M/M, Monica is a mama bear, Newt really hates the cards life gave him, Newton angst, Soul Bond, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, names on wrist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-10
Updated: 2014-01-10
Packaged: 2018-01-08 04:55:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1128578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fadedlullabyes/pseuds/fadedlullabyes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Newton Geiszler knew Hermann Gottlieb was his soul mate, his name was on his wrist for crying out loud. But eventually he came to hate it because Hermann fell in love with and married Vanessa. He felt betrayed and buried everything deep so that he wouldn't think about it again. But when his mother tires of how her son is treated, she takes matters into her own hands.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Way You Hurt Me

**Author's Note:**

> Un-beta'd until my person looks it over. :3

Newt was having an extraordinarily bad day. It even hit his top ten list of ‘Worst Days Ever’ and that was saying something because there were some shitty days on that particular list alone starting with one Dr. Hermann Gottlieb. And he didn’t even want to think about those on top of what happened today. He just wanted to slink back to his room and just lose himself in his manga, go to sleep, forget that today ever existed and start over tomorrow. It sounded like a really good plan in his book.

 

But he also had to get this analysis done for Pentecost and have it to him ASAP. It was frustrating because Newt couldn’t tell any real differences between the DNA and he had his own little theory, but there was no way that Pentecost would believe him. It was something Newt had kept to himself for a long because he knew no one would believe him. They’d just accuse him of being a Kaiju groupie and playing a good one on them and then ask for the real information.

 

Sighing, he pulled his glasses off and rubbed at his eyes. He was going on his fortieth hour of no sleep and already his body was attempting to shut down. It was hard to remember that he wasn’t twenty anymore and couldn’t pull these sort of shifts anymore, but Newt was elbow deep in his research and he couldn’t leave it now, not when he was this close.

 

He took a moment to look at the bracelets he wore on his left hand. He hadn’t taken them off in ten years and he wasn’t about to now. What they covered wasn’t really something sacred, but he wanted it hidden because he didn’t want that reminder. It was the cause of the number one spot on his ‘Worst Days Ever’ and had been fucking shitty. In fact, he liked to think that day never happened and tended to ignore it, or any mention of it from Hermann.

 

It pissed Hermann off to no end, Newt was sure. But he couldn’t give two flying fucks because the man had no right and Newt was sure he couldn’t forgive him. Sure, Newt was an easy going fellow, but when he was hurt, he tended to shut out the world. It was why he was a biologist and loved his job. He got to study cool shit and was mostly left alone.

 

That was until he took his job with the PPDC and had to share a lab with fucking Dr. Hermann Gottlieb who Newt never wanted to see again. He felt as though he never should have suggested their meeting, but he had been young and hopeful that he could finally meet that person. But their meeting had been a disaster from the moment Newt had stepped into the restaurant.

 

God, he wished he had simply walked out and never looked back. But Newt had always been a sucker for just barreling into things without thinking and had approached Hermann and his wife. God, it had hurt seeing her there, dark hair and so exotic. She was beautiful, there was no denying that and Newt had made an ass of himself by making a pass at her. Thank fucking God he had remembered to wear the bracelet because it would have been even worse.

 

He hated seeing that name neatly scrawled around his wrist, as if it belonged there; which according to the Gods that be, it did. That fucking irritated Newt on so many levels because it was apparent Hermann did not feel the same way; not with the way he talked about his wife when they had first met, but also how he acted when they started working together.

And fuck did Newt want to leave so badly when he learned he would be working with Dr. Gottlieb. He had been two seconds from walking out the door when he saw the man across the lab. But Pentecost had given him a look and told Newt he had been the best choice for this particular job because he had a clear mind about Kaiju.

 

At least his tattoos hadn’t influenced the marshal at all. Newt knew they were unprofessional and all that shit, but to him, they were works of art. Hermann’s jibes at them didn’t really affect Newt anymore because he was placing the other on ignore for the most part. Sure, he would annoy the man for his own amusement, but that was because Newt thought of it as payback that Hermann was unaware of.

 

Their constant bickering had created a dissension in the lab and it pretty much divided into two groups, Newt’s and Hermann’s. The tension between them was enough to cut through and there was war after war. Most of the time, Newt knew it was mostly done in fun. But there were moments where he and Hermann would really go a round and things would get so fucking intense that the others had to leave the lab.

 

Newt really missed the other scientists because they were a buffer and kept him from going insane. Sharing the lab with Hermann was just awful and he always ended up doing stupid shit just to annoy the man. He knew all about the complaint forms Hermann sent to Stacker just to try and get rid of him. But there was no way the PPDC was going to get rid of Newt because he was the best damn biologist they had right now and the only one who could even crack the code on the Kaiju.

 

What progress Newt had made on the aliens had been limited, but it was at least valuable. He had been able to find over fifty weaknesses on their bodies that the pilots could use to their advantage. That was, if they could get close enough to strike. They were places on a Kajiu’s body that were well protected, or hard to get to.

 

Newt placed his glasses back on his face and decided to look at his samples again. It wasn’t productive to think about the past when he had the future to fight for. He didn’t like to dwell on something that had hurt him so deeply. He really was a child with the way he treated Hermann after their first meeting, but in Newt’s mind, the asshole deserved it.

 

“Alright, talk to daddy and tell me your secrets,” he mumbled. This piece of Kaiju heart had something to tell him. It wasn’t as huge as the one he had stored just on the other side of the lab, but it was enough to glean some information from. The bigger heart would wait for analysis because Newt didn’t really feel like handling it.

 

Moving a heart around that was the size of his own body was a little tasking and Newt wouldn’t ask Hermann for help. He could ask one of the pilots because they always bitched that they had nothing to do when there wasn’t a Kaiju attack. It was a thought to entertain Newt because he would certainly ask Chuck Hansen down here just to fuck with Hermann.

 

The two men hated each other and Newt took sick satisfaction interacting with Chuck in front of Hermann. He didn’t know why it felt so damn good, just that Hermann would get this look on his face that screamed displeasure while Newt just smirked back. It left him feeling almost superior to Hermann when the man turned his back and walked away.

 

It was an idea to consider when he had rest and could actually study the damn thing. The only thing Newt hated about the Kaiju was that they were so fucking huge. He hated that he had to cut samples from their bodies just to fucking examine them. He wanted to get up close and personal with one just to study their movements because the recordings the Jaegers provided were too bouncy and he couldn’t get a grip on how they functioned alive or how fluidly their large bodies seemed to just move.

 

The sample just wasn’t cooperating and Newt couldn’t get a damn out of it. He pushed the microscope away from him and buried his face in his hand. He should consider sleeping for the next twelve hours and deliver Pentecost his report after he had more time to examine the tissue. He knew the marshal wouldn’t mind because he knew how hard both Newt and Hermann worked in the lab; working long hours without pay because they just wanted the fucking Kaiju gone.

 

It was better to leave this here and look at it with fresh eyes than to fuck something up. Newt knew when he was defeated and carefully put his equipment away. Despite what Hermann implied on a daily basis, Newt did take care of his side of the lab. He just doesn’t do it when Hermann’s around because Newt honestly doesn’t give two flying fucks, or that was what he tried to tell himself.

 

The truth was, Newt still loved Hermann despite the ten years of animosity between them. He knew that he shouldn’t really treat his soul mate like he was the scum of the earth, but Newt didn’t exactly care for the way Hermann had treated him when they had met. Newt had his own suspicion that Hermann knew exactly what he had done but didn’t exactly care to make up for it. This wasn’t some Hollywood movie where Newt would bag his lover in the end, because the truth was, his soul mate was in love with another person and nothing would ever change that because Newt had been nothing but a little shit to Hermann.

 

After getting everything cleaned up and then set up for when he woke up, Newt left the lab. It was only three in the afternoon which meant Hermann was out getting his own food. They rarely ate together in the lab because Hermann always bitched about the Kaiju parts being everywhere. They didn’t bother Newt in the least because in all honestly, he’d seen a lot worse and he knew nothing at this point would turn his stomach.

 

The hallways were empty which was just fine for Newt because he didn’t want to run into anyone. His mood was sour and he knew his mouth would get him into trouble and without Tendo at his back, it was a bad idea. No one tended to mess with Newt when he had his buddy to back him up. It was no secret that Tendo knew about a hundred ways to kill a person even though he was a technician.

 

Newt’s room was near the lab and he was thankful for that because he didn’t know if he could walk all the way to D-Block which was on the other side of the Shatterdome. He knew he could use the exercise but when he was tired like this, there was no way he would make it and would probably end up passed out on the floor. Chuck had certainly found him one time like that and Herc had made sure Newt got a room near the lab from then on out.

 

It certainly was a relief to Chuck because it meant he didn’t have to trip over Newt’s body because for some reason they were always placed beside each other in the Shatterdomes. Newt had a suspicion it was because Hermann requested Newt to not be put anywhere near him. But that was Hermann’s business, or so Newt tried telling himself.

 

He barely had the door open when the landline phone in his room rang. Newt would have loved to ignore it and go right to sleep because damn he needed it. But he knew that if it was ignored, one of the pilots would be sent down here and he didn’t want to take the chance on it being the Russians. They were crazy cool, but Newt felt intimidated by them.

 

“Go for Geiszler,” he said when he picked it up. Newt didn’t bother with etiquette, partially because of how he was raised and partially because he didn’t care about it.

 

“Doctor! How nice it is to hear your voice!”

 

Newt cringed a little because he knew exactly who this was. His mother hadn’t visited him in months and he was honestly happy about that because it had been hard work to keep her away from Hermann. He had told her everything because she had this sneaking way of getting any information from him that she wanted. He wasn’t sure how she did it, but Newt thought she could be a damn good interrogator.

 

“Hello, mother,” Newt greeted in German. He knew she preferred her mother tongue because it was a comfort among strangers.

 

“Surprised aren’t you? You didn’t think I’d come to you see all the way out here?” There was excitement in her voice which meant that she had missed him considerably.

 

“Actually, yes, I am. Where are you so I can pick you up?” He didn’t have much room for her but his mother would fit okay in his quarters. He didn’t want her to have her own room because it meant she would be left to her own devices and God knew the sort of trouble she would cause in the dome.

 

“I’m with Mr. Choi right now in the mess hall. I must say, there are a lot of good looking men around here,” she teased.

 

Newt grinned and shook his head. His mother had been wild in her younger days and had been married to another man when she had gotten pregnant with him. He didn’t know the whole story behind that but he wasn’t sure he wanted to know. It was part of the reason why he never pursued Hermann even though they were soulmates, he was a married man and Newt refused to be a homewrecker just because of a name on his wrist.

 

“Behave yourself. I’ll be there in five.” Newt hung up the phone and drug his ass out of his room. Sleep would probably come later because his mother was always excited to see him and would keep him up for hours just gossiping. Newt wished she had called first because he could have planned things just a little better for her stay here.

 

When he entered the mess hall he was relieved to find that Hermann was nowhere in sight. The last thing he wanted was for his mother to corner Hermann. He didn’t want to think about the disaster that would be if it ever happened. He would have to make a copious amount of coffee to keep up with her and fry his brain out when he looked at samples.

 

“Liebling!” Monica exclaimed as she rose from her seat to greet Newt. He accepted her hug without complaint even though the whole mess hall had their eyes on them.

 

“Great to see you too, Mom.” Newt allowed her to kiss his cheek because he knew she would embarrass the hell out of him if he didn’t. It was worth the ribbings because in all honestly he missed his mother.

 

“Your father was unable to join me but he sends his regards,” she stated once she pulled back. She had two large suitcases by her feet and Newt could see them taking up most of his room. He was crying on the inside and his mother knew that.

 

“That’s good. I’ll call him in a like week or so,” Newt answered. He took her suitcases and started to wheel them out of the mess hall because he was tired of all the damn looks. His mother was beautiful, Newt wasn’t blind and could appreciate that about her. She turned heads wherever she went and knew it so she worked it to her advantage.

 

“He’ll love that, as will Illia. Now tell me, have you made progress with that Gottlieb boy?” Straight and to the point, it was no wonder Newt didn’t have any social skills.

 

“I told you, Mom, he’s married to another person so it doesn’t mean squat. I’ll be fine, I promise.” Newt knew she wouldn’t take his answer and would try to settle things on her own. He loved his mother, he really did and she was all kinds of awesome but there were some matters he didn’t want her to stick her hands into.

 

“Well, he should be aware of what you are to him,” Monica stated with a grim face. Newt didn’t know what had happened between her and his father before he was born but it was something bad; that much he was aware of. He didn’t like his situation anymore than what she had but these were the cards he was given to play in life.

 

“It’s not a huge deal.” Newt shrugged his shoulders, hoping it would signal to her that he was done speaking about this subject. He was too tired to speak about the situation that happened to drain him emotionally every week. He never spoke of it really to anyone and Monica should know that he would avoid the subject when it was brought up.

 

“Not a huge deal, you say. This is tearing you apart, my little doctor. And I don’t like it,” Monica frowned before stepping into Newt’s room. She glanced around before turning back to her son.

 

“Just please drop it, Mom. That’s all I ask. He’s totally in love with his wife and I have no chance, okay?” Newt felt like crashing on his bed and never waking up. This wasn’t the longest time he had gone without sleep but it felt like he had been awake for weeks. He knew he wouldn’t last long.

 

“I’m afraid I can’t, but we’ll save it for when you get some rest. You look absolutely horrible. I have some papers to look over for my next performance so why don’t you get some rest, liebling?” Monica brushed Newt’s wild hair out of his face and pushed him to the bed.

 

Newt wanted to protest and tried to fight the sleep as it came but it was futile. He sucuumbed to it before he even knew what happened, only able to process that his mother removed his glasses for him like when he was little. There was a barely there kiss to his forehead before everything went dark and he was in bliss.

 

~*~

There was a sinking in his stomach, coiling and reaching out. It made Newt feel disoriented as he reached out for his glasses. He put them on but they did nothing to curb the sensation in his stomach that something was wrong. Newt glanced to the clock and saw that it was past nine in the evening. The second thing he noticed was that his mother was gone.

 

Newt flew out of the bed and shoved his shoes on, not even bothering to tie the laces because he knew where she was. He was out of his room without a backward glance and stalking down the hall. Newt felt anger creeping in but he didn’t know if it was his or Hermann’s. Newt blocked the bond between him and Hermann, ever letting it grow because it would never amount to a damn thing.

 

It was harmful to some people to just shove the bond into the back of your mind once you’ve met your soulmate. Newt never had a problem with it though and kept himself strong. It wasn’t the ideal life but Newt would take it.

 

His footsteps rang out in the hall, announcing his incoming to whomever was left in the lab. Newt didn’t care because the feeling in his stomach only got worse and he wanted to double over and lie in the hallway until he died.

 

Newt pushed himself until he was standing outside the lab. He could hear someone mumbling and it didn’t sound too friendly. It was German, that much he was sure of and it wasn’t his mother. If it had been, she would have been much louder, that was certain.

 

Cautiously, Newt entered the lab and saw Hermann sitting at his desk, face in his hands while his shoulders shook. Newt had never seen him so human before and he felt it was so wrong.  This wasn’t the Hermann he knew and was accustomed to interacting with. Newt almost turned on his heel and walked but the pull at his stomach kept him from doing so.

 

“Did the math finally make you go insane?” Newt wanted to curse his own mouth because god damn that was not how you started a conversation.

 

Hermann’s head shot up and Newt could see that he had been crying. The tears were gone but his eyes were red and enough evidence that something had upset Hermann. He wanted to stalk over to Hermann’s side of the lab and hug the shit out of him but he knew it wouldn’t be welcomed and it wasn’t his place technically.

 

“No,” Hermann said. His voice didn’t waver but Newt could tell he was holding a lot back. It wasn’t right. “I’ll be fine but I think you should tend to your mother.”

 

Newt went pale and ran a hand through his hair. Fuck, his mother had been here and upset Hermann, just fucking great. He didn’t want that to happen and had told her to never engage Hermann but she never listened.

 

“She’ll be fine. It’s you I’m worried about.” Newt responded, taking a step to Hermann’s side of the lab. When there wasn’t a protest he kept walking until he was in front of Hermann’s desk.

 

“You do not have to worry about me, Newton. I will be fine.” Hermann rubbed his hand over his face and looked up to Newt and tried to smile.

 

“I can’t help it,” Newt whispered and leaned down. He knew he shouldn’t kiss Hermann, but the urge was too strong and he was a very impulsive person. Hermann’s lips were slightly chapped and Newt liked them. He could get used to kissing the man in front of him.

 

When he realized what he did, Newt pulled away and stammered out an apology. He couldn’t be that person; he couldn’t ruin a marriage where two people actually loved each other just because Hermann was his soulmate. He tried to back out of the room but Hermann reached out and caught him by the wrist.

 

“I should go...”

 

“No, you need to stay, Newton.” Hermann pulled Newt down so that he was sitting his lap. Being this close to Hermann was new to him and Newt didn’t want to like it because he knew it would be ripped away from him.

 

“I can’t do this, Hermann, you’re a married man and very in love with your wife. I won’t be a lover on the side,” Newt began but as he was about to say more, Hermann cut him off with a kiss. It was a deeper kiss than the one Newt gave Hermann, it said what the other man couldn’t and told Newt everything he had wanted to hear for ten years. It told him that Hermann needed him and the he wouldn’t be letting go anytime soon. It was a promise that he wouldn’t be pushed away any longer and most of all, it told Newt that he was the only one in Hermann’s life.

 

“Vanessa and I haven’t been husband and wife for two years, Newton. I just needed a bit to approach you. I was a coward in not letting you know sooner and my intentions.” Hermann’s voice was low as he buried his face into Newt’s chest.

 

“Hey, it’s cool, man. It was a you and not me thing. I get that.” Newt tried to sound comforting but he knew it didn’t come out that way and winched. He was shit at this sort of thing and wished he had inherited his father’s personality.

  
“It doesn’t excuse me or my actions and what they did to you. I did not think of the effect they would have on you and I apologize for that. But we can start anew, Newton, if you want. We can put this behind us and forge our own path and relationship.” Hermann pulled away and looked up at Newt, there was a glimmer of hope in those eyes and Newt knew he was gone. It didn’t matter what Hermann had done to him because in this moment, he had his soulmate and a promise.


End file.
